Tips for Online Dating

Everyone is Online Dating. Just Go With It.

If you feel weird about having an online dating profile then just don’t have one. You’re ruining it for the rest of the people that got over the stigma when they signed up for Friendster back in the day. Research states that 1 in 5 couples meet online and that 1 in 6 marriages begin because of an online dating site. Although the research was commissioned by, it is still an impressive statistic. It is important to enter the online dating arena with as little shame as possible because everyone is doing it and this is the modern way to meet a potential partner. If your aging mother or skank of a friend don’t understand, it’s okay… just move on and try not to worry about what they may think. Feeling embarrassment from the beginning will cloud your judgement and you’ll be unable to truly enjoy the process. Plus, you probably won’t be a good date if you go into it with that kind of attitude.

You Are Not As In Love As You Think You Are

So, hopefully you’re no longer feeling embarrassed or ashamed, but you should still be realistic. The feelings you have for rollergrrl82 are not as real as you may think. And just because veganboi79 likes obscure music and only watches movies with subtitles (just like you!), it doesn’t mean that you’ll be sending off ironic family photos for your annual “festivus for the rest of us” holiday card in the future. It is important to know that the intimacy you are feeling for the person you just started emailing (and probably also stalking online) is projected intimacy. It’s not real intimacy. True intimacy comes after spending a lot of time with someone: knowing what it is like to have a conversation with them, learning all their little quirks and details from their past, not just what their favorite food is or the fact they have a fear of birthday candles because of the time her birthday cake went up in flames when she was four. When you spend a lot of time with someone, healthy intimacy flourishes.

You Are Such a Heartbreaker

A very common aspect of online dating is falling for a Paul Rudd but finding out he’s a Paul Dudd! This is when false intimacy has developed and you are left feeling heartbroken. It’s like Paul himself totally stood you up. He would never do that. Not your little Joshy from Clueless. Take the process slow and try to balance the amount of communication you have before meeting in real life. Try meeting sooner than later and make sure that your expectations are realistic.

Learn to Tolerate Rejection and Keep a Balanced Perspective

Let’s face it. You are going to feel majorly rejected even though you probably shouldn’t feel so rejected. People will be looking at your profile and may not email you back because of one tiny detail. Maybe you spelled a word wrong? Are you a Lakers fan and they hate Kobe? Keep in mind that you are probably doing a similar cursory glance of profiles, right? Remember that you are not being rejected for who you are really are. The world of online dating feels quick and unfair at first. It can be brutal, but you should try to meet people and have fun. It may be overwhelming at first. Take a break if you need to. No worries. It is not uncommon to sign up, delete your account and then sign up again later with more realistic expectations. Even if you have to go through a bunch of Dudds you’ll eventually find your Rudd. Happy dating!